google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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