Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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