well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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