I've blown a few things in my day
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
