I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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