My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
