I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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