so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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