We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
