I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
