I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
