i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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