Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
