So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
