Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
