i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
