doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
