the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How does it feel to date your dad?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize