I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
40s are totally the cure
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize