were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
