Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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