I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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