Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
