It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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