I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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