Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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