He kissed a someone with a penis
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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