watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
