I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
