You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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