Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
