I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
