The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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