She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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