some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
