Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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