WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
