If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
