its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
