Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
