Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
