all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And the cops told us we were all naked.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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