Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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