So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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