In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
