Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I have post one night stand depression
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
