I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
