Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
are you so shy because you have an std?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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