My sheets look like a crime scene.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize