It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
