if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
