Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
