he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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