Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
