the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
