no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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