My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she woke up with a sticky ear
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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