Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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