Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
