So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
