I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize