bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
