What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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