I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
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