All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
