and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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