If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
