I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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